party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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