the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Randomize
