absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
