pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
