Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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