She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
You may now shotgun with the bride
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
