I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
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