she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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