Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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