I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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