why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
