the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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