Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
