I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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