my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
