please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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