Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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