spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Randomize
