Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize