Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
