I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
