When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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