I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
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