So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
