i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
