And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
