It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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