the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize