What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
i think im in europe. pls send help
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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