So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
