I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
