he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
