I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
