dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize
