Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Randomize
