For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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