He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
