I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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