Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
