Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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