I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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