I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
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