ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
