I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
