Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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