I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
