i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
