so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
