can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
