So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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