Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
my liver is dry heaving
Randomize
