I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
