I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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