i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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