Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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