Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
