And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
