I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
