Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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