i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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